Saturday, August 29, 2009

Guys with Kids

I'm having one of those Saturday nights spent alone deal. By choice. I'm sure I could have found someone to hang out with but I'm having those moods. The one where I only want to hang out with specific people and of course as my luck would have it, none of them are available. I refuse to settle so here I am, all alone in Red Robin's lounge area feeling just a bit pathetic. If it wasn't Saturday night, I might not feel as bad but hey, I made my choice so now I have to live with it.

As I was trying to act cool on my seat, a guy walks in and I can almost see light behind him. YUM!!! I noticed he was carrying a baby carrier. Double YUM! Behind him is this older woman. I'm guessing she's the mom eventhough she looks too old for him. He also looked too handsome for her but who am I to question love. For all intents and purposes of my daydreaming, that was his mom.

Back to his hotness. I realized that I've always been attracted to guys with children. There's just something so sexy about a guy with a child. I think it's the hope that they are responsible, gentle, selfless and caring. Also, that they have some level of commitment. If you make me choose between twins, same hot looking guys, one with a child and one without, you can bet I'll jump on the one with a kid. There, I said it.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Toy Shopping with Ashley

The day has come. I couldn't make excuses anymore. It was our day to go toy shopping and it's the first time I'll see her by myself after our steamy night together. It wasn't easy to make the decision to just do it. I was a nervous wreck, worse so that when I'm about to meet a new boy toy. I didn't know how to behave or what to say. I've forgotten how to even breathe. I realized I have crush on her.

I have never had a girl crush before and I feel like I was new to the whole crush scene all over again. I was shaking inside and my palms were cold and sweaty. I gave her a hug then wondered if I should have given her a kiss. I also wondered if I should have walked her to her car when we were done shopping. I don't know how I should behave in this girl on girl relationship as I've never been on one.

She looked just as gorgeous as I remembered when she stepped out of her car. There's just something about the way she sways those hips when she walks that just so irresistible. So feminine, so sexy, so hypnotic and so begging me to take charge. I think she was a bit nervous too. We had dinner and a little chitchat. I was slowly regaining my composure and get off track again when she gives me those bedroom eyes. There was a lot of awkward moments and nervous laugh. I had a headache because I was so nervous but I made it out alive.

We made it to Lovers without touching each other. We giggled and oooohed and aaaahed at the different dildos and other sexy things. I ended up getting a bunny and she got a strap on. I wonder who she's gonna use it on? Hmmm... She sure was excited about it. I told her I was bringing my brand new strap on as well when we meet again and show our men our new toys. With that we parted with a hug and it was still awkward. I don't know if I should have kissed her. I am however anxiously waiting if she's going to take my offer of being my partner in crime in making my boy toy's fantasy of pleasuring two women at once come true.

So Unusually Happy

My heart if full. If feels like it can't contain the warm and fuzzy feeling inside any longer and it will burst. When it does, there will be butterflies, rainbows, confetti and sparkles everywhere. The sun finally comes out of hiding from behind the dark clouds.

Yes, that's how I'm feeling right now. So unusual, so unexpected but I welcome it with arms wide open. Was it the double tall latte? Is it because it's Friday? I think not. I've had lattes and Fridays before but I never felt like I do now. I think that's what makes this feeling so wonderful because it has no rhyme or reason, it just is. I'm usually this giddy and happy if I'm about to meet someone I really like spending time with or about to do something I really enjoy. That's understandable and expected but to feel this great and not know why makes me feel special. It's like being given an unexpected gift that I have wanted forever but couldn't afford.

I wish I can share it with everyone. I wish I can touch people and let them feel exactly what I'm feeling. It's so wonderful. *smiles* The best I can do is inform the world it does exist and it can happen to you when you least expect it. I wish it stays forever but for now, I'll just enjoy it and be grateful it came to me. Here's wishing I'll pass it on to you.

Have you ever felt like this before? If you know the reason why you're happy, that's wonderful too and I want to hear your stories. This world can use uplifting stories every now and then to give hope to the rest who have been unfortunate and to remind them the world still has good things in it and to not give up.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Potty Mouth

I call people and tell them to pay up for a living. Yes, a wonderful job, a job I was given without my permission but hey, it's a job nonetheless so who's complaining? I used to but not anymore. There's actually a gratifying part of the job where I can help them lower the amount they owe using my fee reversal power. Other than that, every call is a surprise. I never know what I'm gonna get. It's safe to assume that they're mostly going to be unhappy people considering I'm asking them to part with their money in this economy. Best time to move me over to this function boss, thanks! There are the occasional happy-no-matter-what type of people and they inspire more than they'll ever know but there are the awful ones as well. Take this one for example:

Me: Hello, is Jeffrey available?
Asshole: There is no Jeffrey here you stupid bitch!

Ouch! How did he know my first and middle name without me telling him? Mind reader? Seriously, that left me speechless and with a lump in my throat. What did I ever do to him? Anyway, just another day in paradise. That's what I tell myself every morning.

Do you have any interesting, funny, weird or just mind boggling things happen to you at work? Do tell...

Things Taken for Granted

Oftentimes, we are so used to things and people around us that we take them for granted. Once in a while, something happens that reminds me to be thankful.

I heard a story about a mom who went to work every day as if nothing was wrong. Someone found out that she had been living in her car with her little boy because they lost their house. They got the help they needed through the company she was working for, thanks to the concerned citizen.

I complain a lot about how messy my house gets and how the space feels like it keeps getting smaller instead of being thankful for having a house and keeping my babies safe and warm. A story like that one put some sense back into my ungrateful head in an instant, leaving me a bit embarrassed for even complaining one bit.

How about you? Have you ever lost sight of the big picture? I'm looking forward to hearing your stories.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Foursome, Anyone?

Last week, hubby and I met a couple in their early twenties. I wasn't physically attracted to the guy. He was about 5'9" tall and a little too scrawny for my taste. The girl on the other hand was very sweet, nice and attractive. The four of us had chemistry for sure. That's usually the biggest challenge with foursomes or a bigger group; the more people you throw in the mix, the more chances there will be of having people not getting along. We met husbands in the past who were just intimated by my hubby. We also had a very nice couple whom we got along with really well but I felt like the fly on the wall or the extra wheel. Kyle and Ashley were different in the sense that everybody was comfortable and laughing at everyone's attempt to make a joke. My hubby has a dry sense of humor and more often than not, he's misunderstood. Poor baby.

We met them yesterday for drinks at 3:30 in the afternoon at a sports bar by the water in Edmonds, Washington. We played three games of pool while I was trying to relax. After my second cranberry vodka, I was feeling pretty good. The truth was I was nervous as hell because it's been a while since the last time we played with another couple. I also had a very strong attraction to Ashley. She's my absolute type as far as the ladies go. She had the angelic, innocent face but you know she's naughty deep down. The lip ring and the tongue stud hardly affected her innocent look. She did not have any make-up on and yet she looked very beautiful. She's very soft spoken, an angelic voice to match the angelic face. It didn't hurt that she has huge natural breasts.

We drank some more beers when we got to their place and the conversation was quickly turning naughty. I was feeling very uncomfortable. I felt buzzed, dizzy, a bit sick, nervous and shy at the same time. I hated myself for a bit for feeling the way I did. It seemed like they were all ready and waiting for my lacey thong to come off. Just as I thought we were finally going to do it, Kyle's mom called and asked for a ride. I won't bore you with the details. Let's just say that hubby and I ended up waiting about an hour before we could resume our fun night. It sure helped me gather myself together though. When they got back, I was ready and pretty sober by now too.

Ashley is comfortable being bisexual. Me, not so much. I'm very picky when it comes to girls and I'm just not that experienced with the ladies. She took me to their room and the men eagerly followed. She took her halter top off and released the girls. Oh my! They were calling me. Slowly but surely, I warmed up especially when she started kissing me. Her mouth hardware were a bit strange for me but I was too distracted by the huge tits in my hands and her hands massaging my ass. The men were watching quietly with obvious lust growing within them.

I led Ashley to the bed and kept kissing her while she successfully took off the only piece of fabric left between us, my black and pink thong. Her hands quickly found my awaiting pussy. My kiss was slowly moving south. I kissed her neck then lightly touched her nipples with my tongue, teasing them with circular motion. I kept going down. I kissed her tummy, then the area around her belly piercing. I blew on her clit lightly just to give it a little tingle. As she raised her hips towards me, I kissed her on the tummy again, teasing her some more. Then when she least expected it, I licked her clit. First, I was licking it like it was ice cream then it became a hungry licking and sucking. She started to moan and I wasn't sure if I was too rough but she assured me it was all pleasure. She motioned for me to turn around so she can taste me too.

I was a little shy knowing our men are watching us. I felt very naughty having her all to myself and not sharing so I invited the men to join us and they eagerly accepted. There were hands and bodies everywhere and Kyle is hung like a horse. I couldn’t get myself to stay away from Ashley for very long though so after I made out with Kyle, I turned around and found myself on Ashley’s tits again. Kyle just took that as an opportunity for doing me doggy style. I was happily kissing and sucking Ashley’s nipples. Ashley’s mouth was also enjoying my breasts while playing with my clit. All the while, Kyle was fucking me from behind and hubby was pleasing Ashley orally. We were like that for a little bit until I came hard.

Kyle pulled me and wanted me to ride his cock. Beside him is Ashley who was kissing my husband. That position didn’t do much for me so I laid down beside Ashley. Just as I started playing with Ashley, Kyle pulled me towards the edge of the bed with my ass up in the air. He entered my pussy and it felt heavenly. He was holding my hips ever so gently while picking up speed with his pumping. Hubby went away for a water break and I took over his position in the pussy department. So I now had a huge cock in my pussy, clit on my mouth, nipples on my left hand and pussy around my right index and middle fingers. I enjoyed hearing Ashley moan with pleasure I was responsible for. I was moaning like crazy myself. The cock felt amazing but the sensation of touching and feeling the softness of a woman on top of that was euphoric.

Hubby came back in the room when Kyle and Ashley were taking a break in the living room. I sucked his cock for a little bit until it was ready for action again. When his cock was soaked with my pussy juice, we called in Ashley for reinforcement and there she was with her sweet voice and willing smile.

She was on all fours, hubby was pounding her from behind and I was underneath her licking and sucking her pussy and ocassionally licked and played with hubby’s balls too. The sight of hubby’s cock penetrating that pussy turned me on tremendously. Watching his cock go in and out of that pussy and slamming it harder and harder unleashed the sex animal in me.

The night ended with satisfied smiles plastered on our faces. Ashley and I are going toy shopping next week.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Helicopter Ride, Literally

Lee’s profile:

Gender: Man
Age: 39 years old
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Marital Status: Single
Height: 6 ft 2 in / 187-190 cm
Body Type: Athletic
Smoking: I'm a non-smoker
Race: Caucasian
Eye Color: Blue

I met Lee around April of 2008 for drinks at a sports bar in downtown Seattle. I was only about a month into the swinging world. He was nice, very mellow and he sounded so much like one of my husband’s close friend. He worked for a local TV news channel at that time. He was one of their helicopter pilots. We were toying with the idea of me giving him a blowjob while he’s flying the helicopter. It sounded hot on paper.

He offered to give me a tour of the news channel building and a helicopter ride too. I couldn’t say no to adventure. We stayed in a conference room close to the rooftop which was almost always vacant. I was a nervous wreck with all the windows and door open. I was so afraid someone was going to walk in on us. He was very reserved the whole time just waiting for my signal. When I told him to take charge, boy, was I surprised! There were fireworks when we kissed and an oh so fluid rhythm. I found myself straddling him while he was sitting on a chair. I was very aroused as I was grinding my hips on him.

Even after he closed the blinds on the window, I was still very uneasy. So he took me to the closet and started wildly making out with me. He was kissing me hungrily which I really enjoyed while managing to take off my pants and thong. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor on all four while he was diligently licking and kissing my pussy and ass hole. That was a new sensation to me and made me feel a bit uncomfortable but it no doubt felt really good. I was soaking wet when he instructed me to get up. He picked me up and pinned me on the wall with my legs around him. That was another new thing for me and it sent me to orbit. There was no penetration yet at this point but I was so excited and the feeling of being suspended in midair and completely under someone’s control was just amazing.

The only missing is piece is a hard cock. Where was it you ask? I have no idea. Yes, he couldn’t get it up. He told me he was too concerned about someone walking in or someone calling him for duty which in about a few seconds did happen. He had to go fly the helicopter for some breaking news that they had to cover and I didn’t have enough time to put my thong back on so I stuffed it in my pocket while we hurried to the helicopter. For about half the time we were up there looking over the nice view of downtown Seattle and the water, I was still in disbelief of what just happened. Let’s just say I couldn’t fully appreciate the view or where I was because my mind was still in the hot, steamy closet.

We met again for coffee close to his place one afternoon. This time, I was intent on finding out just how good he feels when he’s hard inside me. Sadly, it still didn’t happen. It was difficult to not take it personally. Needless to say, I was very disappointed. He said it wasn’t me; he just has a mental block with women who have children. I didn’t understand why he even bothered with me when he knew that I’m a mommy from the very beginning. I was resentful for being his guinea pig. He supposedly moved to another state shortly after that. It was too bad because we really got along well outside of the bedroom. I had a good time with him at the museum once.

Earlier this year, I receive a text message from him after not hearing from him this whole time. He’s back in the Northwest and is now ready for me. I was then busy with another boy toy and I didn’t feel like opening myself up for another disappointment.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Roller Coaster Ride with Mr. DJ

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My husband and I were at our swinger friend's birthday party about a year ago. I had one object of lust that night, the DJ they hired. He's 27 years old, 6'4 feet tall, brown eyes, dark hair, weighs 200 pounds and looked innocent enough to corrupt.

My girl friend pushed me towards his direction because I was too shy to do anything with the obvious attraction I had for him. I may be a swinger but I'm very shy. Yes, even after a few drinks, I still can't gather enough courage to come up to a guy and ask him to dance with me. So when I finally made it to his side, I was very nervous and pretended to be interested in his spinning. It ended with my friend giving him my phone number.

He never called me so I asked my friend for his MySpace account so I can contact him. He informs me that he just started a relationship and really want to see where it goes. I'm not one to break relationships just to serve my own selfish urges even though I really wanted him bad. I told him to let me know if it didn't work out.

Last week, I got a text message from a number I didn't recognize saying that I should check my MySpace. I knew it was him. I was touched that he saved my number. "What would you say if I told you I broke up with my girlfriend?" was the e-mail I received. I told him I'm sorry it didn't work out and I never thought this day would come.
On Aug 11, Tuesday, I met him for pizza and beer. He looked nice but not as cute as I originally thought but then again, it's been a year. He didn't recognize me either. I'd like to think I look better now than I did. We were both very nervous. He's the second non-swinger guy I have pursued and I wasn't sure how to go about it with him. He wasn't as innocent as I thought either. He likes to party and is quite naughty. It was a night of revelations. Underneath that sexy Nick-Lachey-hat is a balding guy. It added ten years on him. I'm not that shallow so I tried to not let that bother me.

We went back to his place and it went from awkward to even more awkward. Finally he kissed me but there was no fireworks or wobbly knees. We didn't have the rhythm. We went to his bedroom and I was hopeful. He has an average size tool and I couldn't wait to sample it. I enjoy giving oral sex. He was very quiet the whole time while looking at me with no expression on his face. It almost felt like I was sucking someone else's dick while he watched. He didn't seem to enjoy it at all. I was still hopeful. The actual sex was actually pretty decent. It felt good and he made me cum and was able to hold off until I got mine. He was a little rough at first but he listened and went to a rhythm that sent me to an orgasm. He was running his fingertips all over my skin. It was a nice tingly feeling. He also planted gentle kisses on my neck, back and arms. I really enjoyed that part.

While I was trying to catch my breath, he was clearly uneasy and asked, "now what?". I told him to relax and enjoy the moment. I can tell he was preoccupied. It must be weird for him to be with another woman after thirteen months of the same girl in that same bed we just fucked in. I also later found out that the ex-girlfriend asked him back in her life that morning. He didn't know what to do with me. I told him it's just sex and to not worry about a thing then he smiled and said this is so much better. Then he asked if it was OK to cuddle. That made me melt. I love a guy who likes to cuddle. There's nothing better after sex than lots of cuddling.

The whole night was a roller coaster ride. There were definitely some lows but there were some very positive things too. I was very hopeful that he was going to be my regular boy toy to replace the one I still miss very much. He fit the bill at first until I got to know the real him. Then again, I finally know what it's like to have sex with him and it was an overall good experience.

Friday, August 7, 2009

At Long Last

If I had taken a picture of myself last night, it would look just like that one shown above. Yes! It was quite something.

I met Matt about a year ago at a bookstore, for coffee. Immediately, we felt a strong connection. It was so strong that we wanted to rip each other's clothes off right there in the middle of all those books under the flourescent lighting. There was nothing sexy about where we were but I can feel just how much he wanted to have his way with me right there. I had to keep moving away from him, trying not to blush too much because what I saw in his eyes was raw lust. It ended with a hug at the parking lot as we parted ways and then I received a message from him confirming what I knew all along. He wanted to have me from the moment he saw me. I told him I felt the same way and couldn't wait to get my hands on him, among other things. *wink* He would have fucked me in his car he said. Eventhough that sounded exciting, I wanted our first time to be in a bed so we have more freedom to do what we wanted in any position.

A year later, I thought it would never happen. Our schedules were just impossible to align. After a while, I thought he was one of those guys who only like the idea but not really man enough to do anything about it. Out of all the swinger men I've met, Matt is the only one whom I was completely physically attracted to. For me, he looked perfect that's why I waited patiently. He would instant message, text, and call once in a while and we had a couple of phone sex sessions but nothing extraordinary. I actually thought he would be a lame lover because he never had anything creative to tell me when we're trying to talk dirty to each other. He didn't turn me on mentally. I gave up on him a couple of months ago thinking he was only playing the mind game with me and I was getting tired of it.

Then yesterday, he asked me if I still want his cock and when I want it. I played along a little and said yes and of course, we were back to our scheduling issue. I started to make excuses not see him too. I thought he was too perfect and I'm not. I also thought he will be lame in bed anyway so why bother. Then I had the stupid idea that he might be psycho and I'll never make it back home. Then I realized I have been out of the game for too long and making excuses. It was time I faced my fears.

I was waiting for him to cancel again like he did last minute the last time I thought we were getting together but he didn't. Slowly, all my fears melted away and I was just horny as hell and excited. My clit is still all tingly as I write this. *blush* So here's the part you've been waiting for. We met at a mall parking lot so I didn't have to drive all the way to his place. He looked a little different without his hat on and he gained a little weight but he still looked cute. I get in his car and immediately, he kisses me full on the mouth and I just melted. I'm not exaggerating, I really felt my body and brain turn to mush. We had chemistry alright. I thought that was enough even if he really turns out to be lame. I had no expectations as to avoid disappointments. I've been disappointed way too many times.

He couldn't keep his hands to himself and I was getting wetter and wetter by the minute. We got to his place and as soon as that door closes, it was on. He was telling me how much he wanted to do this from the day at the bookstore while kissing me, fondling me and undressing me at the same time. I couldn't wait to unwrap my overdue present either and man! was I happy with his package. His cock was bigger than I thought and it filled my mouth oh so nicely.

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I pushed him down the bed while I enjoyed my new treat and oh was it delicious! Even his balls were perfect. I don't like saggy ones. Then it was his turn to return the favor. When that tongue touched my clit, I saw stars. Yes, he was orally gifted and that's not even the best part. I couldn't wait any longer, I was longing for his huge dick to fill me up. Again, no disappointment there, only pleasure when he entered. In less than a minute, he came and I thought I was doomed, that it was too good to be true. I was still hopeful he can get it up again and I was willing to wait because I had intentions of riding that masterpiece. Well, guess what ladies and gents? He never went limp! His cock was rock hard for almost two hours straight. Unbelievable! He's only 28 so I'm sure it was his natural gift and not blue-pill assisted. This would be a good time to give you his profile. He's 6'4, about 170 pounds, hazel eyes, caucasian and a highschool football coach.

So imagine my surprise when I didn't need to wait. I rode on that massive cock so fast just in case, I was dreaming. Nope, I was fully awake and fully aroused. The good news just kept coming. As soon as I sat on it, I was frozen with undescribable pleasure. He hit the spot! I couldn't move because it was just all too much. He saw this and was very amused and teased me even more by grinding me against his cock. I was having a sensory overload. It was a mix of laughter and moaning.

After I came, he wouldn't even give me a break. I know, am I really complaining? He didn't want to take his dick off of me. He wanted to leave it there until I was ready to go again. Like I said, I didn't have to move to feel that overwhelming sensation of pleasure so there was really no break for me. We just kept going and going and going and my pussy is not even sore and it's still horny after all that pounding. If it wasn't three in the morning and if he didn't have to be at work by seven, we probably wouldn't stop. When we were getting ready to leave, we finally had a chance to just talk and underneath that sex machine is a nice, gentle, almost innocent, sweet guy who opens doors for me. What a lovely evening-morning I had.

Closing Time

The last day of my vacation has come. The curtains has closed to such a wonderful show that is entitled time away from work. I sure enjoyed myself more than I thought.

I took this week off with the major goal of getting my to-do list boxes checked. There wasn't supposed to be any play time that would distract me from my goal but I was too weak to say no to fun times. I have wasted countless times in the past by deviating from the goal and regretted it tremendously but not this time. This time, I somehow achieved balance. I don't know how I did it but I did. I was able to squeeze in time for fun and still got some of my chores done. I didn't get all of them done but enough to make me feel like I've used my time wisely.

No more vacation for me for the rest of the year and I need all the help and support I can get to get through this without falling apart. Yes, it can be that bad some days. For now, I take a bow to a well spent vacation full of relaxation, sexy fun, accomplishments and inner peace.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Time to Let Go

Today I decided to go through my closet full of crap. I've been meaning to do this for a long, long time. Sometimes it seems like stuff just appears and finds a corner in my house and stay there uninvited and unwelcomed.
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The Daycare Center that we send our kids to asked for some donation they can sell on a yard sale type of deal so I was religiously going through my stuff. It was either donate or volunteer to sit out there on a weekend and sell those stuff. I cannot sell anything to save my life and I'd hate to waste a weekend selling instead of having fun. I knew I had a lot of things to donate anyway to free up some space in my getting cramped by the minute house.

So I came across my babies' holloween costumes; a little duck, lady bug, bear and a flower. Aaaaww! I actually had to think about it. It sounds overly dramatic but if you're a parent, you can somewhat relate to this I hope. These were not just costumes, they had memories attached to them. I really miss the little cuddly babies who wore the costumes. Yes, they were very demanding at that age and practically attached to my hips one hundred percent but they also didn't have attitudes that toddlers have. When they were babies, they were just little blobs with those big eyes that stare at me adoringly. I was their everything. I am proud to see my children grow more independent each day but I do miss being needed from time to time. Can you imagine what my blog would be like when they have gone to College? *shiver*

I miss little babies and whenever I see a baby, it makes me want to have more of my own. I still can but I don't think I can manage the two weeks of recovery after giving birth, nursing and pumping at work and the never ending sleepless nights. I think I'm fine with two.

So I had a little farewell moment with those costumes and told myself that other babies can make more memories with them. If I need to remember those baby days, I can just look at the pictures and try to enjoy every moment of them being toddlers because soon enough, I will miss these times as well.

Monday, August 3, 2009

My Heart Broke Tonight

It's not for the reason you might think. It's not another guy who broke my heart. This time, it's my four and a half year old daughter. Lately, she's been very stubborn and I just assumed that was part of the terrible two that goes on for years. You parents, know what I'm talking about. My husband is the disciplinarian of the house and I'm the pushover. I am usually very patient unless I'm exhausted or in some sort of physical pain. I happened to be both tonight so I had zero patience. Recently, it seemed like she's just getting into one trouble after another. She ignores me when I ask her to do something, this is a big one. She takes her brother's teddy bear just to torment him and make him cry.

Tonight, I realized just how serious the situation is. There I was, giving my usual lecture, discussing consequences with her and she had this smile on her face and twinkle in her eyes. I asked her to repeat what I said because she was very good with the "yes mommy" part when I asked her if I made myself clear. To my surprise, almost everything I said went in one ear and out the other. That just made me furious! I wasted my breath. I didn't know what to do with her anymore. She only remembers bits and pieces and not the good ones either. She doesn't remember what she did wrong or she blocked that out. She knows the consequence though but it doesn't really make any difference to her because she'll just get into trouble again the next chance she gets.

I sent her to her room and my husband talked to her. This is the part that broke my heart. She said she is going to space to find a family that loves her. My heart is broken because I felt like I failed her and I failed as a mother. I love her with all my heart and yet she only remembered the scolding part. She thinks that just because I'm so upset that I don't want her anymore. Tough love worked on me when I was a child because I was aware of what I did wrong. It's not working with her because she shuts out the part where she was actually being stubborn. No cause and effect, just effect for her. I also am completely helpless as to how to deal with her.

I was crying to my husband out of frustration and guilt. We should be our daughter's support system. I realized we let life get in the way with making sure she felt loved. I'm guilty for always being busy. I need to revisit my priorities. I've been too consumed with chores, work, going to the gym, my marriage, swinging, my parents, daydreaming about vacation, my cat's flea problems, making dinner and a gazillion other things that my kids went on the wayside. I feel horrible about that. I felt like I don't deserve to have such two beautiful children. They should be my first priority. After all, none of the other things really matter if I lose my children due to my own negligence.

I feel so awful that she felt we don't love her and I want to make this right. So hubby and I devised a plan. We will spend more time with the kids especially my daughter who feels like my son is taking over her world. We will go buy games the whole family can play this week. We will enroll them in swimming lessons this Sunday. We will go to the zoo and watch Ice Age very soon. We will have one on one time with her just so she can talk her heart out.

I went to her room but she was already asleep. I kissed her cheek, brushed her hair off her face and covered her up with her blanky.

Time Away

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I took a week off of work starting today. I needed time away, away from everything. If I had it my way, I would be on a tropical island relaxing and watching the waves do its little dance with the sand. I’ll have a drink in my hand, served by a handsome man or men in their Speedos. Of course my beloved hubby would be there and my favorite part is the no care in the world attitude vacations usually bring. The only decision I have to make is what my next meal is going to be and even that would be served whenever I wanted it. No need to plan or even make it myself. Aahh… my happy place.

*alarm going off* Wake up time. Yes that’s right ladies and gentlemen, that was just a dream. I’m spending my week at home catching up on chores. Anything’s better than being at work to tell you the truth. Yes I know, If I’m that miserable in my job then I should find another one. I wish it was that easy but in this economy, it’s suicide. So for now, I’ll make the best of what I have and that’s a week of freedom.

I got up at 7:30 this morning to get the kids ready for daycare then I went back to sleep and was supposed to be up an hour later. I must have turned my alarm off because when I woke up, it was 10:30. I made myself something to eat and watched Adam and Steve. It’s an entertaining, funny and emotional movie. It’s a gay romantic comedy and enjoyed it. I even liked the way it ended. When that was over, my morning was pretty much gone. I know I should have been starting on my chores but I just wanted to be a couch potato. For some reason, when I turn that T.V. on, it puts me under a I-don’t-wanna-do-anything spell. I fooled around some more on my IPhone reading blogs here and there wondering what makes a blog worthy of a Blogs of Note Award when a lot of them are not even worth reading in my opinion. I did see some blogs that peaked my interest, even inspired me to write. It’s amazing how many people are out there and how different they are from each other and yet somehow connected by the experiences and challenges they’re facing on a daily basis.