If you have read my previous posts, you know that there is one person who I miss quite a bit lately. I guess you can call him the flavor of the I Miss You month. If I'm so fortunate, it would be someone new next month. Why, you ask? Because that means I'm finally over missing this one guy. *sigh*
So here's the question for today. Which one is better, somebody's presence or somebody's absence? We are of course talking about it in relation to missing someone. For weeks, I lost count, this man hasn't kept in touch with me. He didn't even give me a pity-text. Nada, zip! I finally talked myself into believing that he has moved on and is now in a better place, a place where I'm not needed. Once in a while, I would still think about him and miss him but I was doing better everyday.
Then one day, out of the blue, I get a text message from him. He sounded like he just picked up where we left off. So casually, so matter-of-factly. I'll admit, my heart felt like it was going to burst with the overwhelming happiness the message brought me. I was immediately thinking happy thoughts, thoughts of seeing him again very soon. Then the torturous cycle began again. I'd wait for his messages and when he doesn't reply, it feels like a little pinch in my heart. Then I started wondering why he hasn't asked me out yet and assume that he's made plans with other girls. The torture grows. Until of course I catch myself doing so and mentally smack myself upside the head.
So I'm left wondering if his absence is better than his half-ass presence.
art journaling lately
21 hours ago