Thursday, June 25, 2009

Jon and Kate Plus 8

I don’t have much time to watch TV but once in a great while, I indulge myself with the useless crap it has to offer. Being a mother myself, I found the idea of this show very intriguing. I’m not an avid fan and have probably only seen it a total of 10 times or maybe even less.

Recently, Jon and Kate’s faces have been on tabloid and magazine covers. When I’m doing my grocery shopping, I see those as I wait in line for the cashier. I’m not really up to speed with what’s going on between them, I just skim through the headlines. There was the issue where they both denied the divorce and the affairs. Then next thing I hear, they are in the process of a divorce. What?! I thought they said…

The reason I care at all about this is I share something in common with them. I have children too. The mention of the word divorce somehow always makes me sad inside even if I don’t know the people involved. Weird thing is that I’m not against it either. I completely understand why some people resort to it. It’s especially true when the relationship they’re in becomes toxic. I don’t believe that the vow you took in marriage includes being abused. “For better or for worse,” sure, but that’s with the understanding that it’s not your significant other making things worse for you. So yes, I understand divorce.

Understanding alone doesn’t necessarily protect me from feeling bad nonetheless. I would try everything in my power to keep my marriage intact for the sake of my children. I’m not one to promote loveless marriage either but the children are one of my incentives in making it work. My husband is a product of a divorce and even if he was only two when it happened, he has a very low opinion on the matter. You’d think that because he was too young to remember life before the divorce that he wouldn’t know the difference but you’d be wrong. He had to go through all the horror of his mom’s boyfriends, then stepmothers and stepdads. Both his parents tried the marriage thing 5 times each but none of them worked. I know, it’s sad. I’m sure it’s no picnic for his parents either but my husband suffered through all the shuffling back and forth between his parents and then grandparents. Now, imagine eight kids having to go through this. You get the picture.

Now, I know that there are always two sides of everything. There are people out there who are lucky not to feel what my husband feels. I know someone who’s quite happy with being shuffled back and forth. He currently has a great relationship with both his parents and that’s all he ever knew. He was too young to remember what it was like to have them both under the same roof. I just hope that I never have to find out which side my kids will fall under.

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