Monday, September 21, 2009

Too Liberated for a Filipina

Someone just said that I'm too liberated for a Filipina and I just want to address that here a little bit to set the record straight. Hopefully, after this post, I won't read anymore comments similar to this one.

I have never been a believer of general statements. No matter what group you are trying to describe, there's always an exception to the rule. There are a lot of people who haven't had the chance to travel the world or to be exposed to situations, places and people different from their own and what they're used to. Whatever the case may be, these people are confined to the corner of the world they live in. It's not their fault and I'm not saying that to be insulting nor am I demeaning them in any way. I'm merely stating a fact and illustrating why they say what they say and why they think that way.

Having lived in Seattle for years now and meeting so many different kinds of people, I know that everyone's unique and that it's ridiculous to think you can lump them all in one category. I'm also aware that as much as these people sound like all Filipinas living in the Philippines are a certain way, they're not. Just like any other race, there are always the ones who are considered the black sheep or in my case, the ones who go against the grain.

Some adjectives used to describe a typical Filipina which I don't possess are patient, non believer of divorce and religious. I'll be first to admit I have a temper and I'm very impatient. I am working on that and know it's not a good thing. Sometimes, I justify it as having passion.

My post about divorce will give you an idea of where I stand on that subject matter.

I used to be religious but now I'm spritual. I don't believe in going to Church every Sunday because that's what you're supposed to do. I'll go if I want to but not because grandma tells me to. I believe there is a God and that He is everywhere so if I need to talk to him, I can do it wherever I am. I just don't have much faith in organized religion anymore and I have my reasons.

I'm sure that my sexual orientation and lifestyle are taking a lot of the heat from that comment. I've said it before and I'll say it again. There are a lot of Filipina women who are swingers. Then again, they live in the U.S. too. I can't speak for the ones who live in the Philippines. Bottom line is that my husband and I have been married for ten years and we have had our ups and downs. We both agreed to becoming swingers and as hard it is to believe, it is doing more good than bad in our marriage. It's an unconventional way to bring two people closer together but it has spiced things up for us. If for any reason, he feels this is not working out anymore, I'd be more than happy to stop. My family is still the most important thing for me. This whole swinging thing is just another activity for us, a hobby if you may. It's an adventure and not many couples can say that they're secure and that they're relationship is strong enough to handle such challenge. This is an experiment and so far, it's working in our favor.

I was born and spent some years in the Philippines so I still have some of the typical traits expected of a Filipina. I'm still understanding, caring, supportive, family oriented and well educated . I'm going to stop now before this starts sounding like a dating service ad. The point being is that I chose which traits to keep and which ones to change. Change is not such a bad thing. It's been intrumental in my survival in a different country.

It's clear to me that I don't belong in the Filipina category anymore according to some people who have made such comments. So I looked deep inside to figure out who I am now. Gutzon Borglum once said in How to Segregate The American Girl, "The Western girl has her nostrils filled with the free air of great open regions of her childhood. She is almost wild in her demand for freedom. She walks alone, she thinks alone, and she isn't much concerned whether you agree with her or not. She constiture herself her own chaperon." Mr. Borglum hit it right on the head. That's me now, an American girl, one part of it anyway. With America being so diversed, it's hard to say what typical really is.

When it comes right down to it, I'm an individual. It doesn't matter where I was born or what color my skin is. I'd prefer to be seen and treated as a human being and not be lumped into a particular stereotype. I made my choices and I deal with the consequences. I think for myself and I don't blindly follow what society tells me to. I'm not hurting anyone and I expect the same. I learn as I go and believe in living my life to the fullest even if it's not what others consider the norm. That's me a nutshell. If you don't like it, you can move on to the next person.

A little tip to the future readers who can't handle who I am. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.


  1. One word....AMAZING!!

    Im left speechless!!

    WOW!! Great post!!!! Seriously, I love it!

  2. I'm sure glad someone enjoyed this. I had visions of readers falling asleep and drooling over their keyboards. :)