Friday, February 4, 2011

In His Shoes

Hubby and I are like cat and dog these past two days. We would go long stretches with being harmonious but sometimes, we just can't even be in the same room. We have been married for eleven years, twelve next month. To this day, we still sometimes fight like we don't even know each other. For some, you would say that's passion but I'm not so sure. We are both stubborn and both like to be leaders. He's the man of the house and wants things to be that way but I don't agree with that. I'd much rather have a partnership. I like equality, don't you?
Illustration depicting thought.
So tonight, out of nowhere, a fight exploded. He annoyed the hell out of me and he couldn't take my "psycho logic" any longer. Yes, he said that about my reasoning. So he storms off and I was left thinking about things after crying a little bit and feeling rejected and alone. I hate being walked out on even if I didn't want to be in the same room as he is right after the argument. I guess I still wanted him under the same roof, just in a different room.

Anyway, I started thinking and this is what I came up with. I've already made up my mind about what happened and where he went wrong from my point of view. I was ready to counter attack when he came back I thought. Then after a pity party, I put myself in his shoes. I literally imagined seeing what took place through his eyes. It's amazing what my psyco logic concluded. Maybe this is nothing new to most but it was a revelation to me. I've never really put myself in someone's shoe to this extent, especially not in an "enemy's" perspective. So here it is. I understood where he was coming from. Anything I thought previously about my side and my feelings were void. He had a point, a reason to act the way he did. It doesn't mean my feelings were unfounded, just means that he didn't know exactly what was going on with me and just operated on the information that was visible to him. I'm not mad at him anymore. The negative feelings were neutralized after seeing what he saw. My feelings are still a little bruised though. Nothing that a good old wooing can't fix.
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  1. It's hard to put yourself in the other persons shoes, but it's also a good thing to try and do. I applaud your fairmindedness.

  2. Awwww I wish I could put myself in another person's shoes more than I do now. Because I'm very stubborn too, it can only be my way & I'm ALWAYS right. I love the term "psycho logic". I suffer from severe psycho logic, I'll be the first to admit. I wonder how my love puts up with that. A lot of fights wouldn't happen if we could just stop being angry and stubborn for a moment, and think about it from the other person's point of view.